A guy in a ski-mask bursts into a sperm bank with a shotgun.

"Open the f*cking safe!", he yells at the girl behind the counter.

"But we're not a real bank" she replies, "We don't have any money. Thisis a sperm bank".

"Don't argue, open the f*cking safe or I'll blow your head off".

She obliges and once she's opened the safe door, the guy says

" Take out one of the bottles and drink it".

"But its full of sperm!" she replies nervously.

" Don't argue. Just drink it!" he says.

She pulls the cap off and gulps it down.

"Take another bottle and drink it too", he demands. She takes out another one and drinks it as well.

Suddenly the guy pulls off the ski-mask and to the girls amazement it's her boyfriend.

"Not that f*cking difficult is it?"

A husband walks into Victoria's Secret to purchase a sheer negligee for his wife. He is shown several possibilities that range from $250 to $500 in price -- the more sheer, the higher the price. Naturally, he opts for the most sheer item, pays the $500, and takes it home. He presents it to his wife and asks her to go upstairs, put it on, and model it for him.

Upstairs the wife thinks (she's no dummy), 'I have an idea. It's so sheer that it might as well be nothing. I won't put it on, but I'll do the modelling without my clothes on (he'll never know the difference), and I'll return it tomorrow, and keep the $500 refund for myself.'

She appears naked on the balcony and strikes a pose. The husband says, 'Good Grief! You'd think for $500, they'd at least iron it!'

He never heard the shot.

Funeral on Thursday at Noon. Closed coffin.

A third grade teacher came in to the room one day and found a drawing of A p*Nis on the blackboard.

She suspiciously looked at her students but didn't say anything.

Instead, she rubbed it off.

The next day, she came in and saw another drawing of an even bigger P*Nis on the board.
She frowns and rubs it off.

The third day, she came in and saw another p*Nis drawn on the board.

This time, it's huge, covering up almost half of the space she couldn't take it anymore so she screams out to the room full of noisy children,

"Why do you kids like drawing this p*Nis on the board? And why is it Getting bigger each day?

Little Johnny then screams out back to her, "The more you rub it, the Bigger it gets..."

Rajput wanted to have $ex with a girl in his office, but she belonged to someone else...

One day, Rajput got so frustrated that he went up to her and said, "I'll give you a R100 if you let me shag you. But the girl said NO.

Rajput said, "I'll be fast. I'll throw the money on the floor, you bend down, and I'll be finished by the time you pick it up. "

She thought for a moment and said that she would have to consult her boyfriend... So she called her boyfriend and told him the story.

Her boyfriend says, "Ask him for R200, pick up the money very fast, he won't even be able to get his pants down."

So she agrees and accepts the proposal. Half an hour goes by, and the boyfriend is waiting for his
girlfriend to call.

Finally, after 45 minutes, the boyfriend calls and asks what happened.

She responded, "The b*a*s*t*a*r*d used coins!"


Management lesson: When dealing with an Indian Always consider a business proposal in its entirety before agreeing to it and getting screwed!

There was this couple that had been married for 20 years.

Every time they made love the husband always insisted on shutting off
the light.

Well, after 20 years the wife felt this was ridiculous.

She figured she would break him out of this crazy habit

So one night, while they were in the middle of a wild, screaming,
romantic session, she turned on the lights.

She looked down... and saw her husband was holding a battery-operated
pleasure device... a vibrator!

Soft, wonderful and larger than a real one.

She went completely ballistic.

'You impotent pig ,' She screamed at him, 'How could you be lying to me
all of these years?

You better explain yourself!'

The husband looks her straight in the eyes and says calmly:

'I'll explain the toy, you explain the kids.'

Send this to your good friends and let them have a laugh or else you'll
have a bad sex life forever!!!