CANBERRA (Reuters) - Police in Australia have charged a man for drink driving in a motorized wheelchair after he was found to be six times over the legal alcohol limit, local media reported on Monday.

Police in the tropical northern Queensland city of Cairns said the man had a blood alcohol reading of 0.31, and was so drunk he was asleep at the controls of his motorized wheelchair in a turning lane of a major highway.

"It beggars belief," Police Inspector Bob Walters told the Cairns Post newspaper, adding wheelchairs, bicycles, horses and skateboards were all considered to be vehicles under the state's road laws.

"It's unlawful, it is unacceptable and people should realize it could lead to a fatality," he said.

Other motorists on the four-lane highway had to swerve to avoid the wheelchair, police said.

Rajput wanted to have $ex with a girl in his office, but she belonged to someone else...

One day, Rajput got so frustrated that he went up to her and said, "I'll give you a R100 if you let me shag you. But the girl said NO.

Rajput said, "I'll be fast. I'll throw the money on the floor, you bend down, and I'll be finished by the time you pick it up. "

She thought for a moment and said that she would have to consult her boyfriend... So she called her boyfriend and told him the story.

Her boyfriend says, "Ask him for R200, pick up the money very fast, he won't even be able to get his pants down."

So she agrees and accepts the proposal. Half an hour goes by, and the boyfriend is waiting for his
girlfriend to call.

Finally, after 45 minutes, the boyfriend calls and asks what happened.

She responded, "The b*a*s*t*a*r*d used coins!"


Management lesson: When dealing with an Indian Always consider a business proposal in its entirety before agreeing to it and getting screwed!

There was this couple that had been married for 20 years.

Every time they made love the husband always insisted on shutting off
the light.

Well, after 20 years the wife felt this was ridiculous.

She figured she would break him out of this crazy habit

So one night, while they were in the middle of a wild, screaming,
romantic session, she turned on the lights.

She looked down... and saw her husband was holding a battery-operated
pleasure device... a vibrator!

Soft, wonderful and larger than a real one.

She went completely ballistic.

'You impotent pig ,' She screamed at him, 'How could you be lying to me
all of these years?

You better explain yourself!'

The husband looks her straight in the eyes and says calmly:

'I'll explain the toy, you explain the kids.'

Send this to your good friends and let them have a laugh or else you'll
have a bad sex life forever!!!

There once was an Indian who had only one testicle, and whose given name was 'Onestone'.

He hated that name and asked everyone not to call him Onestone.

After years and years of torment, Onestone finally cracked and said," If anyone calls me Onestone again I will kill them!" The word got around and nobody called him that any more. Then one day a young woman named Blue Bird forgot and said, "Good morning, Onestone." He jumped up, grabbed her and took her deep into the forest where he made love to her all day and all night. He made love to her all the next day, until Blue Bird died from exhaustion.

The word got around that Onestone meant what he promised he would do. Years went by and no one dared call him by his given name until A woman named Yellow Bird returned to the village after being away.. Yellow Bird, who was Blue Bird's cousin, was overjoyed when she saw Onestone. She hugged him and said, "Good to see you, Onestone." Onestone grabbed her, took he deep into the forest, then he made love to her all day, made love to her all night, made love to her all the next day, made love to her all the next night, but Yellow Bird wouldn't die!

Why?

OH, come on... take a guess!



Think about it


(You're going to love this!)

You can't kill two birds with one stone!!

They just never get old, they just get funnier :)

'Bless me Father, for I have sinned. I have been with a loose girl'.
The priest asks, 'Is that you, little Johnny Parisi?'
'Yes, Father, it is.'
'And who was the girl you were with?'
'I can't tell you, Father, I don't want to ruin her reputation.'
'Well, Johnny, I'm sure to find out her name sooner or later, so you may as
well tell me now. Was it Tina Minetti?'
'I cannot say.'
'Was it Teresa Volpe?'
'I'll never tell.'
'Was it Nina Capelli?'
'I'm sorry, but I cannot name her.'
'Was it Cathy Piriano?'
'My lips are sealed.'
'Was it Rosa Di Angelo, then?'
'Please, Father, I cannot tell you.'
The priest sighs in frustration. 'You're very tight lipped, Johnny Parisi,
and I admire that. But you've sinned and have to atone. You cannot be an
altar boy for 4 months. Now you go and behave yourself.'

Johnny walks back to his pew, and his friend Nino slides over and whispers,

'What'd you get?'

'4 months vacation and five good leads.'

Last week I met Eric Edelstein, the founder of www.springleap.com, a south african online T shirt store that works in pretty much the same way that Threadless does. You can join up, send in your T shirt design and if gets voted to numner one, you'll get R7000 in prize dosh and R2 for every one of your tees that they sell. This sounds like a pretty sweet deal to me, so I figured what the hell- let's enter :) This my entry for May, hopefully it gets a few votes!