0

Man in wheelchair charged with drunk driving

Posted by Waxed on 7:36 AM in
CANBERRA (Reuters) - Police in Australia have charged a man for drink driving in a motorized wheelchair after he was found to be six times over the legal alcohol limit, local media reported on Monday.

Police in the tropical northern Queensland city of Cairns said the man had a blood alcohol reading of 0.31, and was so drunk he was asleep at the controls of his motorized wheelchair in a turning lane of a major highway.

"It beggars belief," Police Inspector Bob Walters told the Cairns Post newspaper, adding wheelchairs, bicycles, horses and skateboards were all considered to be vehicles under the state's road laws.

"It's unlawful, it is unacceptable and people should realize it could lead to a fatality," he said.

Other motorists on the four-lane highway had to swerve to avoid the wheelchair, police said.

0

A lesson in Business

Posted by Waxed on 3:33 AM in ,
Rajput wanted to have $ex with a girl in his office, but she belonged to someone else...

One day, Rajput got so frustrated that he went up to her and said, "I'll give you a R100 if you let me shag you. But the girl said NO.

Rajput said, "I'll be fast. I'll throw the money on the floor, you bend down, and I'll be finished by the time you pick it up. "

She thought for a moment and said that she would have to consult her boyfriend... So she called her boyfriend and told him the story.

Her boyfriend says, "Ask him for R200, pick up the money very fast, he won't even be able to get his pants down."

So she agrees and accepts the proposal. Half an hour goes by, and the boyfriend is waiting for his
girlfriend to call.

Finally, after 45 minutes, the boyfriend calls and asks what happened.

She responded, "The b*a*s*t*a*r*d used coins!"


Management lesson: When dealing with an Indian Always consider a business proposal in its entirety before agreeing to it and getting screwed!

0

Sex in the dark

Posted by Waxed on 2:47 AM in ,
There was this couple that had been married for 20 years.

Every time they made love the husband always insisted on shutting off
the light.

Well, after 20 years the wife felt this was ridiculous.

She figured she would break him out of this crazy habit

So one night, while they were in the middle of a wild, screaming,
romantic session, she turned on the lights.

She looked down... and saw her husband was holding a battery-operated
pleasure device... a vibrator!

Soft, wonderful and larger than a real one.

She went completely ballistic.

'You impotent pig ,' She screamed at him, 'How could you be lying to me
all of these years?

You better explain yourself!'

The husband looks her straight in the eyes and says calmly:

'I'll explain the toy, you explain the kids.'

Send this to your good friends and let them have a laugh or else you'll
have a bad sex life forever!!!

0

THE INDIAN WITH ONE TESTICLE

Posted by Waxed on 2:52 AM in ,

There once was an Indian who had only one testicle, and whose given name was 'Onestone'.

He hated that name and asked everyone not to call him Onestone.

After years and years of torment, Onestone finally cracked and said," If anyone calls me Onestone again I will kill them!" The word got around and nobody called him that any more. Then one day a young woman named Blue Bird forgot and said, "Good morning, Onestone." He jumped up, grabbed her and took her deep into the forest where he made love to her all day and all night. He made love to her all the next day, until Blue Bird died from exhaustion.

The word got around that Onestone meant what he promised he would do. Years went by and no one dared call him by his given name until A woman named Yellow Bird returned to the village after being away.. Yellow Bird, who was Blue Bird's cousin, was overjoyed when she saw Onestone. She hugged him and said, "Good to see you, Onestone." Onestone grabbed her, took he deep into the forest, then he made love to her all day, made love to her all night, made love to her all the next day, made love to her all the next night, but Yellow Bird wouldn't die!

Why?

OH, come on... take a guess!



Think about it


(You're going to love this!)



You can't kill two birds with one stone!!


0

Cyanide and Happiness

Posted by Kate on 3:25 AM in
They just never get old, they just get funnier :)


Copyright © 2009 Stuff To Send Your Friends All rights reserved. Theme by Laptop Geek. | Bloggerized by FalconHive.